Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me

How the Sin of Self Pity Leads to Depression and Spiritual Death

In the Law Enforcement profession, there are good years and bad years, the good years representing mutual respect between the public and the police. As with everything, good times do not always last, a cop does something, and everything falls off the rails. All of a sudden, there is massive distrust of the police, there are talks of change, protests, and rioting.

When one or more cops do something, usually, something stupid or illegal, the public turns against the other one million “Good” cops who are working hard to protect them.

“Have pity on me, my friends, have pity, for the hand of God has struck me.
Job 19:21 NIV

The police feel they are being punished for the actions of one or a few, even though they had nothing to do with the incident and were hundreds of miles away. The police feel they are treated as an occupying force by an ungrateful community. Officers think their profession is being maligned; they feel they are the real victim, having to deal with the wrath of the community. All of this drives the officer to second guess himself, to second guess the profession, and to become a victim to Self-Pity.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines self-pity as:

sadness for yourself because you think you have a lot of problems or have suffered a lot:

The Urban Dictionary’s top definition of self-pity is:

Pity for oneself; especially exaggerated or self-indulgent pity where you believe that you are the victim who has done no wrong and is deserving of condolence from everyone.

The single-mindedness act of self-pity, the dwelling upon one’s troubles and wrongs, is fatal to personal development and success. Many have concentrated on the “wrongs” that have been done to them so much that they self-destruct. They become obsessed, believing they have been injured, and the world is responsible for all their troubles.

Self-pity is an emotional act, not a spiritual one. It is humanity’s sinful, self-centered response when something is not going one’s way. Self-pity disguises itself as righteous indignation, making us believe we are not sinning. We indulge in it, thinking it makes us feel better.

In reality, self-pity is the ultimate downer, choking your faith, draining all hope, fueling anger, it is a spiritual deadener. Self-pity is like a poison; it sucks all of the love, the joy, and the desire to help others, out of your system. It is a dangerous, deceitful, heart-hardening sin.

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”
Hebrews 3:13 NIV

Self-pity is a feeder sin, leading you to comfort yourself into a sinful activity such as gossip, substance or alcohol abuse, pornography, slander, greed, and binge entertainment. It may feel good and bring relief in the beginning, but you will eventually crash into depression and suicidal ideation.

Like most sins, self-pity is an expression of pride. At the heart of self-pity is our disagreement with God on how we have been treated, real or perceived. Our egos and our feelings have been hurt; the selfish, sinful part of our lives has become dominant, causing us to become our own god. C.S. Lewis once wrote: “The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first—wanting to be the center—wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race.”

While humility and self-pity may appear to be similar, they are not. A humble person does not care about receiving glory, whereas pitiful people are overly concerned with what people think of them. Being humble is not the same as self-debasement; it is the act of being modest, not proud or arrogant. The Bible teaches us to pursue humility and does not allow self-pity.

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
Romans 12:3 NIV

For one to be relieved from self-pity, one has to turn to God. God loves you unconditionally; He knows your battles, your daily struggles, hurt, pain, and hardships. God wants the best for you as nothing; absolutely nothing, is more powerful, generous, or kind than Him. All you need to do is let God be your daily filter, let God lead you through every storm.

How do you gain that relationship with God? Instead of living in a self-centered way, you need to live in a Christ-centered way. You need to establish a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that we could be in a relationship with Him. He’s not indifferent to the issue. He went to great lengths to bring us into a relationship with Him. Jesus took our sins on Himself and covered us with His righteousness, making us fully forgiven and fully accepted by Him. We don’t have to first live good lives, or perform religious rituals, or spend years begging Him. God is the one who made it possible for us to have a relationship with Him. And we come to Him based on what He did for us, rather than what we can do. He paid for our sins in order to forgive us and come into our lives.^[1]

As humans, we are immersed in sin; it is everywhere. We are sinful, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). The deceiver is Satan, he is a thief and a liar only wanting to steal, kill, and destroy. We are separated “The wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23), meaning death is the spiritual separation from God.

Our savior is Jesus Christ, and the most important question of your life is, Do You Know Jesus?

The Bible tells us what we must do to be saved by Jesus Christ.

You must admit you are a sinner as no one is sinless (Romans 3:10), You must turn from sin and confess (Acts 17:30), you must believe that Jesus died for you (Romans 5:8), and that He rose from the dead (1 Corinthians 15:3-6). You must receive Jesus (John 1:12) through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9) and by personal invitation (Revelation 3:20).

To receive Christ, you must turn to God and trust that Jesus came into your life to forgive your sins and to make you what He wants you to be. Having an emotional experience or just agreeing that Jesus is the Son of God and died on the cross for your sins is not enough. You receive Jesus Christ by faith, as an act of the will.^[2]

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16 KJV