Emotional Suppression Leads to Depression

The call goes out, an auto versus pedestrian traffic collision with several injured. Police, Fire, and EMS race to the scene, and upon arrival, they see the unimaginable. An 18-year-old driver loses control of his vehicle, causing it to veer off the roadway and onto the sidewalk. A mother is on the path, lifeless. Her three-year-old son is lying on the grass in critical condition, and underneath the vehicle is a baby stroller with twin nine-month-old babies. Sadly, both were killed on impact, destroying the young family.

Scenes like these play out every-day in America, affecting the consciousness of First Responders. These memories, the sad thoughts, slowly build up driving our responder to depression. While some will get through experiences like this unharmed, many will bottle up their memories and emotions to get through the tough time.

¹There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
³a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
Ecclesiastes 3:1,3-4 NIV

The American Psychological Association defines Emotional Suppression as:

The “conscious” exclusion (or “pushing” down) of painful memories, thoughts, etc. In this way, we control impulses consciously as opposed to unconsciously.^[1]

Emotional suppression is “sucking it up” or “having a stiff upper lip.” Sucking it up doesn’t make the negative feelings or memories go away, it just buries them in your mind to cause more pain later. One may think they can manage negative thoughts, but they cannot; negative emotions store up in our bodies waiting to destroy us.

Emotional suppression is “inhibiting the outward signs of your inner feelings.” First Responders learn early in their career that emotional suppression is an effective way to regulate emotions. In the short term, this may be good, but those locked up emotions have to be dealt with quickly.

Several studies have shown emotional suppression affects your mind and body. In a 2013 study by the Harvard School of Public Health and the University of Rochester, people who suppressed their emotions had a 30% higher chance of premature death and a 70% higher chance of being diagnosed with cancer than those who did not. According to provisional clinical psychologist Victoria Tarratt, “Suppressing your emotions, whether it’s anger, sadness, grief, or frustration, can lead to physical stress on your body. The effect is the same, even if the core emotion differs,” she adds that it affects your blood pressure, memory, and self-esteem.

“There’s no way to tell when someone is suffering in silence.”

The energy of suppressed feelings do not go away; they are buried in the mind. As these feelings move from the conscious to the unconscious mind, they gain power over you. You stay stuck in the “get over it” mindset, making healing impossible. This mindset adds to depression, a stepping stone toward suicide. By suppressing your emotions, you lose your mental freedom.

The use and abuse of alcohol and prescription drugs are common in the First Responder arena. For many, it is an escape from the feelings they do not want to remember. While this dangerous activity may numb the emotional pain, it never really takes it away. If the emotions are not dealt with, the use and abuse of alcohol or drugs only heighten. For more information, please read the blog “Alcohol and Substance Abuse Among First Responders.”

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2 NIV

Many men may believe that showing your emotions makes you weak or soft; it does not. Men are told at a young age that they are to be strong; showing emotions is a weakness, making them vulnerable instead of being independent. They are told “real men” don’t show emotions and that “nice guys” finish last. Men are told they must complete amazing feats and not be wimpy. They are advised not to share their emotional state with other men.

Among men, this suppression of emotions leads directly to depression and social disconnection. Men who are suffering tend to separate themselves from their friends, family, and loved ones. For the most part, men just “clam up.” The damage caused by the “suck it up” mentality cannot be calculated, and the numerous deaths by suicide, stress-related heart attacks, alcoholism, and unvented anger only scratch the surface of the mortality this societal idea.

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long

Psalm 32:3 NIV

The Bible tells us about emotions; the Book of Psalms, mostly written by King David, is all about feelings. The emotions King David wrote about ranged from abandonment to confidence, affliction to comfort, weakness to strength, and trouble to joy. King David was a manly man. He was a warrior, a shepherd, a leader, a master planner, wealthy, and a brother-in-arms. He also wrote poetry and played the harp. In Psalms, King David cried out to God in his distress and fear. He expressed joy, he cried, David laughed, and he showed anger. King David expresses nearly every emotion in his Psalms to God. The Psalms of David leaves us with hope, speaking the truth into our hearts, reminding us of what is real even though we may not feel it.

“God gave me emotions so I could experience life, not destroy it.”

As First Responders, our emotions are part of us, although we pretend they are not. First Responders have strong feelings, and we can show them and still show strength. We need to be more like King David, while we display the appearance of inner strength, showing that we can handle anything life throws at us; we need to express our emotions and our hearts to God and one another. King David was “A man after God’s own heart,” we must strive to do what pleases God.

When you are struggling with your suppressed emotions, remember you can find strength and peace in God’s word.

Ask God to guard your emotions, ¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. (Ephesians 6:10-11 NIV)

Allow God to mold and mend your heart, ³ He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3 NIV)

Pray for God’s perfect tranquility, ¹⁵Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. (Colossians 3:15)

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